


Forgiveness (they're going through the unimaginable)

by glitterjemstone, paint_chips



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Crying, F/M, Panicking, a glimpse into a bad night of a wonderful couple, because we did, but theyre working on it, do you ever think about how much that moment messed them up?, percabeth, they dont know how to be okay right now, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterjemstone/pseuds/glitterjemstone, https://archiveofourown.org/users/paint_chips/pseuds/paint_chips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. Now less than ever. What I did to Annabeth, I saw the look in her eye. I've never wanted to be mortal more." Or, brief look at a night in the relationship of Percy and Annabeth after the blood-bending incident in Tartarus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness (they're going through the unimaginable)

**Author's Note:**

> We didn't plan for this to ever be published, we were just causing ourselves pain in the early hours of the morning, needing sleep, but maybe we all need this kind of pain in our lives (you don't, trust me you don't, but when you love a couple like we do, you love the ugly, too.).

Percy doesn’t sleep anymore. He just stares at his hands. Annabeth comes to check on him at night out of habit because she can't sleep either, and she can just hear the sorrow in his sobbing. He's trying so hard.

Annabeth sits outside his cabin trying to avoid the harpies, but listens to his sobs and wants to do something. She doesn't know how to help him. Every move she makes she’s afraid is going to be the wrong one. He wishes he could forgive himself, but every night when he closes his eyes, he can't. She knows that. She doesn't quite know how to forgive him either. But she’s trying.

Just being near her would help, but he doesn't trust himself enough for that right now.

Just being near him would help, but she's too scared of him getting angry.

At one point she realizes it would be worth the pain to herself to go into his cabin. She enters and when he senses her presence, he tries so hard to stop crying for her but it just fights against him. He's losing, first battle he doesn’t have confidence in winning, and he has to back himself into a corner to try to get far enough away from her.

He looks up, vision blurry from tears and constant rubbing, eyes raw and red. He wants to reach out, so badly, but he stops himself. For now, this is all he's going to give himself. They're in the same room and that has to be enough for him, for now.

He aches for her touch, he aches for her laugh but now it seems like she's so far away. When she slides down the wall to sit next to him and her mouth is wearing a frown that looks so much better when wearing a smile, he breathes.

It’s not enough, he knows it isn’t, his heart aches to hold her and kiss her and tell her he's okay, he'd never hurt her, but can he really promise that? What if he slips up one day? So he settles for this, this close silence, hearts aching but minds knowing it’s their best option.

Only two words escape his mouth, and it's enough to get Annabeth to start shaking from holding back sobs. "I’m sorry."

"It's okay," is all Annabeth can choke out, even though it’s not okay. She doesn’t know when it will be, but Percy needs to know that she doesn’t see him as a monster. She just doesn’t know how to get it through to him. This is an attempt.

"I didn't ask to be a monster, I don't want to be this for you." It takes all his might to say these words. He slowly tries to stop sobbing. He's finally got it down to just tears streaming down his face, but he knows when she leaves him in the dark all alone, he's not gonna be okay. The dark is a scary place to be left alone with your thoughts.  
He's going to think about that look in her eyes when she told him some things weren’t meant to be messed with for the rest of his life, he knows, and he's not going to be okay at all.

It would help him, she knows, to be closer, so she places a hand on his shoulder. 

He whimpers out at her to stay back. His hair is disheveled and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks so unhealthy and she wants to help him but he's holding his arms so close to his body she’s can’t reach his body. He’s so scared that even showing his hands would hurt her. He’s afraid of himself, of his own power, his own hands. How can Annabeth not be? How can she be so calm? A daughter of Athena knows how to keep her cool, but she doesn’t need to put up a front for Percy. Why is she?

Annabeth knows he’s afraid. "I'm not leaving. Ever," She whispers. "You're stuck with me, Seaweed Brain." She touches his other shoulder and Percy knows she means it. Something flutters in his chest and strangely enough it feels like safety.

"Please don't be scared of me." Percy lets one of his hands loose and touches the hand on his right shoulder. She doesn’t flinch. Her hand is warm. "I'm gonna try so hard for you, Wise Girl. I swear it."


End file.
